I can hardly believe that I'm celebrating my FOURTH Mother's Day, fifth if you include when I was pregnant with Callie. I remember when Callie was just a few weeks old, and Trey and I had started calling each other "mommy" and "daddy" so that we could already teach Callie what to call us. Trey had gotten up with Callie in the middle of the night and was needing my assistance and kept trying to wake me up saying "mommy!" He finally yelled, "Hannah!" And of course, I woke up. I think it really wasn't until Callie started saying "mama" and then "mommy" that I started responding to that title...
When I think of being a mother, I remember a time that I wasn't. In September 2005 we found out we were pregnant with our first child. We were so excited as we had been praying for a baby, and I wanted desperately to be a mom. However, after just 12 weeks we got the devastating news that our baby had died in my womb. I felt so helpless and disappointed. I worried that I would never be able to have a child. And, after a few months of prayer, God answered. When I found out I was pregnant again I had all sorts of emotions. I was so excited, but also anxious. Ultimately, I knew it was not in my hands, but God's. And I gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby girl on December 13th, 2006. Caledonia Marie has been the light of our lives! We had both said that we would be perfectly satisfied if she was the only one we were ever able to have. God blessed us yet again with another beautiful daughter on January 20th, 2010 with the birth of Ashtyn Elizabeth!
There are many days I feel completely inadequate at being a mother. I have doubts, worries, and second-guess myself. There are days that I want to get out of the house, because I haven't had a chance to sit down in 3 hours. There are days like today, Mother's Day, where we try to go out and have a nice lunch, only to be interrupted by a poopy diaper! But, even with all of the challenges, I look at my two girls and feel extremely blessed and priveleged to be their mother. I only hope to raise them in a way that they will become godly girls, and one day, godly women.
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